Being a girl and having friends who are girls I often get invited on hen parties these involve trips to restaurants, clubs, theatres, hotels, go-karting and various other ways to celebrate before the big day.
This was all fairly staid and straight-forward until I heard from my friend who is getting married in September… How could I say no????
Hello
I've decided what I'd like to do for my hen do. Here are the details below. If you'd like to come that's great but I wont be offended if you're not up for it/can't come/ can't afford it / already going to a few hen dos this year etc.
Puppetry of the Penis is on at a theatre in Birmingham (it's not on in the North West). As Birmingham is half way between London (where a few of my friends live) and Manchester (where most of my friends live) I thought we could go for the night.
If we arrived in Birmingham at lunch time we could go shopping or just find a pub. Then go for some food before the show starts at 8pm. Afterwards we could go to a club and see if there's any men willing to demonstrate a few tricks with their meat and 2 veg (nudge nudge wink wink). Here's roughly what it will cost:
Ticket to the show = £17ish Night in travel lodge/travel inn = £26 ish Return train travel from Manc/London = £25ish Plus food, drink etc
Tickets have just gone on sale. I would like to get them quite soon because they are only on for one night and it would be good if we could all sit together.
xxx
p.s. Puppetry of the penis is basically a couple of men on stage, manipulating the genitalia to make them look like different objects/animals etc (like origami).
Apparently the Hamburger is very impressive!!! My mind is in a boggle
I watched this film today, a friend at work lent it to me. I think I've been asleep all my life as I hadn't really registered this film or Audrey Hepburn until now!!! I feel the biggest wally
In my humble opinion this film is FANTASTICALLY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holly Golightly is just fabulous, the style, the vunerability, the cat, the sassiness, the romance, the diamonds!!!
A truly great film and I was hooked from the second it started and now I'm searching online for trip to New York and Tiffanys.
Reading Audrey Hepburn's page on wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audrey_Hepburn filled me in on her life and career she died in 1993, yet I don't recall any kind of mention at the time. I would have been living in Glasgow at the time I guess caught up with the daily whirl of life and stuff.
Anyways a big thanks to Jen for lending me the film as I enjoyed every single minute... I'm off to sing Moon River and remember George Peppard before he was Hanibal in the A-team
Been back to the hospital and given a clean bill of health. They remembered me not from my medical notes but from my moose slippers!!!! I sat wearing them the whole time and all the staff were eyeing them up!! Although one did say, what are they? Cows???
Been home now and the doctor told me to rest up for the first few days so I have officially given myself some time off work. I know that work must think that I'm milking this but, I'm rarely ever ill and therefore the chance to rest up should not be missed. Plus the painkillers I'm on make me a bit woozy and I can't nod off at my desk!!!
My mum rings me daily just to check up and I've read some books and watched a DVD, watched lots of Mark Owen on You Tube....plus had lots of sleeps. I'm very good at resting !!!
My operation on Thursday was a success and I did indeed wear my Moose slippers which were warmly welcomed by all the nursing staff!!! I did feel a bit of a wally walking from the ward to the theatre wearing my mooses especially when I saw about 100 people in this time, but it took my mind off my nerves!!
In the theatre they hooked me up to lots of monitors and lots of screens started beeping felt like I was in an episode of ER. The anaesthetist starting injecting the drugs through a needle in my hand and the beeps on the machine started to get slower. It's a funny feeling when you realise that you're about to go to sleep and I did try and stay awake a bit longer - just because I liked noseying at what everyone was doing and also to make sure that the screens carried on beeping! The nurse but a mask over my face and told me to breathe deeply and then I knew I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and I was gone.
The next thing I remember I was back in my bed on the ward, and a nurse was waking me up. It was an hour later. I still find it really strange that I have no recollection at all of what had been going on whilst the doctor was operating - perhaps as well really! The nurse took my blood pressure and told me to drink plenty of water - but all I wanted to do was sleep.
A bit later the nurse came back and took my blood pressure again and told me to drink some water, she said that she would let the kitchen know that I was awake and that they could serve my lunch. I'm very impressed at this private hospital lark, on the NHS I got a glass of water and a digestive biscuit! Here I had some lovely vegetable soup and a soft roll and some orange juice.
Didn't feel ill like I did after my last operation and the doctor came to visit me later to tell me that all had gone well and that he was pleased with the result. They said I was to rest the following day and the come back on Saturday for a check up.
With my lunch finished and the doctor removing the giant needle from the back of my hand I was free to go home and have some more much needed sleep.
I’m in hospital on Thursday for small operation. Nothing serious and hopefully should make me feel better. I’ve been sent 1000 letters and have had to fill in about 200 forms that basically mean if I drop down dead I can’t blame them. I’d like to think that they won’t actually do me any harm, but if they do well it was my own stupid fault.
The best part of the instructions/notices from the hospital is that I would be required to walk from the ward to the theatre and I’ve been told to bring a dressing gown and slippers. Only slight problem is that my slippers are these Mooses. I got them from Canada!!
Now here is the dilemma… Do I buy sensible hospital slippers or do I ignore the ridicule and consequences and wear my furry Moose slippers complete with furry antlers?? After all they will keep my happy whilst I’m waiting for the operation.
I’m a bit nervous, last year I had a similar operation and I was really sick from the anaesthetic and they had to keep me in overnight. The only place that had room was the maternity ward!!! At least I got my own little room and bed and didn’t have to share with all the newborn babies!!!
This time I’m going privately oooh!!! So I hope that the nursing staff are as lovely as the ones in Bolton who looked after me when I was feeling a bit yakky and woozy. I haven’t been to this hospital before it’s in Manchester but I’ve read a good review online – a bit like booking your holiday!! I shall have to ensure that they let Mooses in.
Time to be cheerful as I’m sure Spring is finally here. The mornings are light and there is a big difference when driving home in daylight after being in the office all day.
What’s more the sight of the daffodils bobbing in gardens, and the trees beginning to blossom really lift my spirits. I enjoy seeing the daffodils as they remind me of my auntie who died three year ago, she always loved daffodils and I think that because they are here so briefly they are a real delight to see them. I’m sure I must be programmed into some kind of medieval cycle where the thought of getting through winter really makes me excited for the summer ahead.
Whilst winter is good for my birthday, skiing holidays and excuse to snuggle up in bed on a cold morning, there really is nothing better than spring and summer. Getting out after work, eating dinner out in the garden, long bike rides, sitting outside and admiring the views at lunchtime and flip-flops and bare legs attire after months of black trousers, and black boots.
I’m definitely designed for an environment more suited to the tropics than Bolton – I wonder how I ended up in the frozen north??? “Bring me sunshine”, as I think some very funny people once said!!!
I love Take That, I really do. They were first around during my formative teenage years and I’ve many happy memories pretending to be Lulu to the bit in “Relight my Fire” and learning the dance routine to “Could it Be Magic”. I had posters of wee Mark Owen on my walls. He really was soo cute. I was broken-hearted when the boys split up.
2005 brought the news that the boys were reforming for a comeback tour, following a documentary that covered their careers and activities since the break, this also coincided with the reissue of a Greatest Hits CD that sold by the billion. (Not sure if these are accurate figures). The day that tickets went on sale for the Manchester tour I queued at the Box Office at the MEN Arena for hours whilst friends in the office hit the phones and t’interweb for tickets.
The organisers quickly announced more dates and we were lucky to land tickets for the Thursday night show in May. I then got some more tickets for the Stadium tour at the City of Manchester Stadium later in the year.
The tour was brilliant, it was great to have them back and the songs were still great as ever, some with a twist, “It Only Takes A Minute” to a tango theme. Or poking fun at their boyband heritage with routines like 'the Making the boy band' “Can these boys dance, are these boys cute?!” OOhhh YES!!!
I was watching again on You Tube over the weekend and it was just fabby.
On the back of the success the boys went back to the studio and brought out a new album “Beautiful World” which is just brilliant, and has produced two number 1 songs, Patience and the most wonderful and amazing Shine which wee Mark Owen sings the lead, he really is the cutest person on the planet.
Therefore I was delighted to hear that there was a tour being planned for the album and I got my friend on the ticket case (as I was skiing in France). I was overjoyed to learn that she’s pulled 4 tickets out the bag, after a 4 hour wait on the phone. However, this brings me to the downside:
Tickets are £50 each.
I can’t help thinking that the boys are pushing their luck a bit here, and relying on the undying love and support of loyal fans. So yes, I have bought a ticket - I’m a fool. A few friends, who I went to the tour last year, have refused to pay the cost of the ticket feeling it was beyond reason to charge this much. Putting into context, I did pay £49 for Kylie in January, however the Scissor Sisters in July are £30. The boys must feel that this is an acceptable cost, as each date has sold out and as far as I’m aware, only 2 of my friends have refused to attend at these prices. I’m not good at maths but there must be a calculation that shows the most you can charge your fans before they refuse to pay and £50 seems to be at the top of that bracket.
What’s more my friend has got us tickets for the NEC in Birmingham. She lives in Bristol, her sister lives in London and Pompey Carly lives in, well Portsmouth. So it was deemed the nearest venue to all of us. So now I’ve got to factor in the added cost of a hotel for the night or driving back after the show finishes.
No idea how much it will cost to stay near the NEC, and I guess I’d have to get organised pretty quickly before hotels book out. I’m sure that there must be Travel Inns or something similar around???? Otherwise it’s a hunt for the car and a trip back up the M6 after the show, I think it will finish around 11pm-ish and it’s a 2 hour drive?? Just put the old I-pod on and singalong I guess!!
Finally the best alternative, I break into the boys’ hotel and spend the night with wee Markie.
I've been putting off writing about Monday's match against Aztec Camera (OK so it was really Aztec Panthers but I can't be the only one who remembers the group?)
Aztec Camera/Panthers are top of the league and had lost 1 match and won 16 and drawn 1. We'd won 9 and lost 9 so fairly consistently average! We also were asking massive favours of Lucy and Hannah to step in as shooters. So I was trying to play down the match to Hannah and Lucy beforehand saying, we didn't stand any chance!! (I'm available for motivational speaking at very reasonable rates.)
The match started and we fell behind early doors - as we normally do - but then Hannah got a wonderful shot in and I knew that we were off and running. Soon we were in a rhythm and were starting to creep up and when half time came we were 8 - 11 down. Not bad going.
Second half we decided to mix round a bit, Sarah came from GK to have a run around at GD. I went to GK in a cunning plot to outfox their tall shooter and Louise H went to WD to add some steel to the mid court. Emma was a WA and Kerrie C and our 2 borrowed shooters were having a good spell up front.
So I'm not entirely sure what happened second-half but needless to say it went a bit like the shape of a pear. Our passing accuracy went a bit wrong. I was just no where near tall enough to intercept the accurate balls they were passing straight to their shooter (who didn't miss once) and I think Lucy and Hannah stepped on a black cat at half-time, as their shots just wouldn't go in for love or money. Hannah had one that bounced in and then managed to bounce right back out again. We were getting into good spaces but weren't getting the last bit of luck with the final pass or shot. It just felt that everytime we missed they got the ball straight back down, over my head and in the net!!! I'm sure that Alice is a witch as I don't think we ever do well when she umpires us, (straws - clutching - at)...
So this brings me in conclusion (at last) to the final score and the news that we were losers 23-11.
However, the positives are that for the first half we made the top of the league look quite ordinary. We were working the space and getting the shots in but lady luck wasn't on our side. It was great to have Hannah back and what a way to return to playing competitive sport under the spotlight of shooter but good running and shooting despite the claims beforehand that "I've not done anything since before Christmas"... It must be like falling off a bike - you never forget!!!!!
So that's the top of the league out of the way so there is no reason why we can't beat everyone else!!!
Altogether now you oldies.... "Somewhere in my heart There is a star that shines for you Silver splits the blue Love will see it through And somewhere in my heart There is the will to set you free All you've got to be is true!!!!!"
(sound of me singing alone and in the distance.........)
Went to the cinema at the weekend to see Hot Fuzz staring and written by Simon Pegg. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. I’ve been to the cinema in the past where I’ve done a little snigger, but this was so different I was really laughing to the point of it hurting. The bizarre thing now is that I can’t really remember at what I was laughing at, other than it was very funny. I would most highly recommend it to everyone!! Go and see it and laugh loads!!
The freaky part is that Simon Pegg plays a police officer, who bears a very uncanny resemblance to my friend’s husband – who is a police officer. I’m tempted to offer to babysit for them so they can go and see Rob’s alter-ego on screen.
Sally's husband, on a busy shift
I don’t know why but I’m not really one for the cinema. I normally only go once or twice a year, and this is my second time this year, steady on!! I don’t really watch films at home either. I’ve got the sky movie channels and I reckon that I’m going to drop it to save the money – but then last time I tried to do that I ended up getting Magic Sky instead. I also got some DVDs for Christmas TWO YEARS AGO that are still in the cellophane wrappers. (Back to the Future and a Herbie film, the new one). That said once you’ve seen a film, I rarely feel the need to see it again so it’s a waste of time me buying a DVD. (I even haven’t watched the Take That Tour DVD all the way through yet.) I often get ridiculed because I haven’t seen The Goonies, Gremlins, Indiana Jones, James Bond or any other films that everyone else in the world has watched.
Anyways back to the Hot Fuzz film, it was really funny with lots of cameo roles from interesting actors, including Ewar Woowar (only my cousin will find that funny). The guy from Shameless (another programme I’m afraid I haven’t watched), Timothy Dalton, the woman from dinnerladies and Steve Coogan. It does help to see Point Break and Bad Boys II as there lots of references, I haven’t but still enjoyed watching. It was so scary, exciting and funny and even I managed to keep apace with the plot so there is hope for everyone – go and watch it!!!!!
*OK so that is a Robbie Williams song and not the real title of the film, but it reminds me of it.
There probably is a perfectly good logical explanation to this… But why does the week you are on holiday go as fast as an Olympic Sprinter but the following week back in the office drags like a hibernating snail?
Last week in the Alps the days and nights flew past, we were up and out early every day and then usually out and about in the evenings too, drinking, eating, sledging, snowballing, Olympic bob sleighing…. Just how much fun is having snow???
This week has been a different story. I was dreading Monday morning I just knew it would be rubbish and I was right. Despite a busy week, played 2 lots of netball games on Monday, fell over in the second one and have a big bruise on my shoulder and a massive bruise on my elbow and a busted swollen finger. Pub on Tuesday with the girls to catch up on gossip and chat, and then with Wednesday it was back into the swing of things with my training session. Going to try and keep up with them even after the skiing hols. I ache like anything today though.
Last night I took a trip to the redeveloped Arndale food market and bought some duck, new potatoes and broccoli lovely fresh produce direct from the farms. The uninvited houseguest has finally returned home so it seemed a good idea to make something nice to celebrate, and it was delicious. I’d much prefer to shop at local places than big supermarkets and the duck was fabby. The market is open every day until 6pm so maybe a few more trips will be in order.
Finally at long last it is Friday and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve no real plans for the weekend as there isn’t any football (well real football concerning Bolton) I am acquiring a new bed from a friend who is expecting a baby and is getting rid of a double bed and replacing with a cot (aah the benefits of having the world’s most fertile friends!!) So by Saturday night I will have a lovely nice bed to sleep in – so that will be most of Sunday taken care of!
Oh Mickey You’re so Fine You’re so Fine you Blow my Mind Hey Mickey
Our first meal in the chalet was cheered up by the arrival of Mickey the Ski Instructor. I’d been mulling over the idea of having some lessons to improve my skiing technique, as I’m frankly rubbish.
It doesn’t help that everyone in our group is a very good skier, some have been skiing since being kids and some are just naturally talented and then there is me!! I had a bit of a scary experience in Tignes last year and lost some confidence. However, when cute Mickey arrived I knew he was just the man to give me back my skiing Mojo.
As soon as dinner has been cleared away I rushed to see him and booked an hours lesson for the Monday morning. Mickey was tall with shoulder length brown hair and a cute goatee beard and with twinkly eyes, so I felt in very safe hands indeed!
Monday morning came round too early and it was snowing hard. Made it for the bus up to the town centre and the ski lesson meeting point. After getting lost 100 times (me not the bus) Found the ski lesson place and located Mickey we trudged through the heavy snow to find none of the lifts open due to snow. Now that would have been quite a funny thing if I hadn’t been paying for a lesson. What else would a ski resort be expecting?!! Mickey kept asking one of the people when the lifts would be open… cinq minutes! Was the reply everytime, only cinq minutes kept coming and going without the lifts being open!
Eventually got onto a lift that was working and set off. The snow was coming down so hard and the wind was blowing really hard, it was impossible to see more than a centimetre in front of your nose. Followed Mickey down part of the run and the snow was so heavy that even he nearly fell over! Lower down it cleared slightly and he explained some exercises to stop me twisting my body up the slope. I have a mental block against leaning forward. When you’re hurtling down the side of a mountain the crazy thing (in my mind) is to lean down the slope I want to hug the terra firma!! All was going well until I fell slap on my face.. Ooh the shame – fortunately Mickey didn’t laugh too much.
All to soon the lesson was over and with the palava other the non-open chair lifts meant there wasn’t that much teaching time, so I agreed to have another lesson the following day in the afternoon, after all there isn’t much hope if they can’t open the lifts in time for 1pm!!
The next day the weather was just as bad and at 1pm I went and found Mickey at the lesson place he had icicles forming on his little goatee beard it was that cold. He did look cute.
We had a long chat on one of the open chair lifts where he told me he was Dutch – I thought he was French and had been trying out some of my best rusty French phrases!!! It did surprise me… How does a fella from Holland become a ski instructor? Where do they find mountains to practice on??
The next lesson was much better but still managed to fall twice. One fall really winded me as we were going at high speed and my ski popped off and I fell flat on my front. Mickey caught up and asked what had happened, but really had no idea. Almost thought about crying but decided that it would waste my teaching time so stuck out my lip and kept going.
Mickey was a really nice teacher, funny and patient and answered my endless questions and did 100s of demonstrations as I couldn’t remember everything he was telling me. Still not a good skier and still lean back, but getting down the slope in one piece is a good result in my eyes!!
Told Mickey our chalet was heading out on a bar crawl that night and he said he’d look out for us and say hi at the Dutch bar in the main town. Made a plan that our trip made a special detour to say hello to our Hollandish friends
Due to all the flights being sold out from Manchester – I had to fly to Lyon from Gatwick. Not too traumatic as the rest of the group (10 of us in total) are all based in the South so it would be nice to travel together.
The only down side was (and with the exception of my pals) Cockerneys are really bloomin annoying. Apologies if there are any nice Cockerneys reading this… BUT… the Plane was full of the really gobby irritating ones. All flash and “Aright Geez.” Talking really loudly into their mobiles about how they were on the lash last night and only got in at 4am before coming straight to the plane in the clothes they were wearing, the dirty boys.
The flight was bearable due to my uncanny ability to sleep anywhere I zzz’ed over the English Channel – flight was at 7am in the morning!!! Got into Lyon and found the coach to make our transfer to the resort. A guy advised us that we would be later setting off due to a delay with another incoming flight. So I sat and listened to the Cockerney boys chatting away. One of them was wearing a Charlton shirt (why do people wear football shirts to go on holiday??) and he was getting a bit of banter from another West Ham lad as both teams were playing each other that day. Then they started moaning about all the other teams in the prem and I thought, just say one bad thing about Bolton and I’ll be bloomin livid.
After they exhausted the football chat, apparently everyone hated Middlesbrough of all teams?? One Cockerney boy professed his love for Peter Kay and all things Phoenix Nights. Now there is nothing more insufferable than the bore who imitates his favourite comedy episodes repeating favourite lines over and over again… but the gobby Cockerney trying to be Paddy McGuinness and Peter Kay was almost too much to cope with on a coach teetering around the French Alps. I was this close to screaming you haven’t got the voice right and you’re not funny, now button it. After all me and Paddy are good mates now that I’ve seen his Range Rover outside my house.
However, as confronting six foot tall beefy Cockeneys isn’t a main hobby I did the next best thing, put my I-pod onto some Will Young, closed my eyes and went to sleep. Before I knew it we’d arrived at our Holiday Chalet!! Hooray!!!
No, not the skiing… The drive down to Gatwick airport on Friday night!!!!
Got a bit distracted and forgot to head for the M6, realised it wasn’t a trauma and headed for the M56 to pick up the M6 further down. I think I was that brain-washed into going on holiday that my sub-conscious was heading for Manchester Airport.
Just passed the Traffic Centre when a sliver Ford Puma took a detour down the motorway embankment – perhaps realising that they had made a mistake going for the exit. They hit the embankment with such speed that it propelled the car into the air like something out of an American cop show. It hit the floor on its wheels and started spinning across the three lanes of the motorway towards my car… Screaming (I do well in a panicked situation) like a madwoman eyes transfixed on the headlight spinning ever closer… Fortunately it spun away and I was unscathed. Managed to contact 999 on my mobile and call for an ambulance. Didn’t stop – I had a skiing holiday to get to.
Was sooo traumatised that I missed the junction for the M1 and went the wrong way round the M25. Apart from that got to the airport without a problem!!!!
Arrived on time to check-in to tell me that our aeroplane had developed difficulties and they had requested a replacement, I was most relieved as I’d had all the traumatic travel issues I could manage in one day.
I'm not known for catching on quick, so this is probably why it's taken me so long to get round to a blog. Anyways, as it's here now I hope you enjoy my random thoughts, opinions and stuff that is going on.
I'm a short girl, not tiny weeny, but still small enough to always miss what's going on - a footie match, concert or anywhere where there are people taller than me. Most places really. Get the perspective of the undertall here.
